“It’s the economy, stupid.”

Readers of a certain age might remember this phrase, coined by political strategist James Carville during the 1992 presidential election. It was used to help Bill Clinton’s campaign cut through the fog and focus on the most important issue to voters at the time: the economy. And it worked, with Clinton handily defeating incumbent George H. W. Bush. 

Before going any further, let me make two things clear:

1. Nine-year-old John was way more concerned with the Bulls winning their third straight championship than whoever won this election.

2. My interest in politics hasn’t grown much in the past 30 years.

So why do I bring up Carville’s quip from three decades ago?

Well, I’ve come to appreciate any communication device that brings focus and clarity to what’s most important. 

In the ‘92 presidential election, that meant highlighting the economy. 

In my life, it means highlighting relationships. 

As many of you know (and can perhaps relate with), I’m obsessed with getting things done. Call it my firstborn-ness. Call it my Type 3-ness. Call it whatever you want, but I can easily become consumed by checking the next task off my list. 

Now, to be fair, there are benefits to this trait that have done a lot of good for me and others. So I’m not trying to completely turn off that part of me. But here’s what I know:

When I’m 80 years old (God willing) and reflecting back on my life, I won’t be thinking about the number of tasks I checked off a list. Instead, I’ll be thinking about the strength of my relationships, particularly with my closest family and friends. 

I had this realization several years ago, as I was doing a life-planning exercise from the book, “Living Forward.” Part of that process involved writing my own eulogy, which was quite a trip. As I paused then to consider what I wanted my eulogy to entail, I remember writing down that relationships were most important to me, but knowing in my heart I wasn’t truly living it out. 

So that day, I coined a Carvilleian-like slogan for myself: “It’s relationships, stupid.” And I’ve tried to live by it ever since. As my wife would quickly attest, I don’t always get this right. But I think she would also acknowledge I’m making progress. 

I share this with you for two reasons. First, I suspect there are some who will read this newsletter and think, “Yeah, I could probably use some recalibrating on this front.” If that’s you, I’d encourage you to make the necessary adjustments – you won’t regret it.

Second, consider this an open invite to call me out the next time you see me emphasizing production at the expense of people. It’s no longer a trade I want to make, but old habits die hard.

In closing, here are a few questions for you to ponder:

1. Do you naturally lean more toward people or productivity? 

2. What phrases, frameworks, and/or habits help you stay focused on your most important relationships?

3. What’s one relationship in your life calling for some extra attention right now?

A thought from a fellow traveler

Each newsletter, I’m surprised and delighted by the responses I receive. Two stick out from this last round. 

One came from a reader in Chicago, who not only loves Wendell Berry, but actually got to spend time with him on his farm. His reflections on the experience are worth the read. 

The second came from a reader in Cleveland whose answer to my “What’s one thing you appreciate about your parents?” question nearly moved me to tears:

My parents have made it abundantly clear that there is nothing I could do to make them turn off their porch light. They've never withheld love, attention, or time, even in seasons when things were tense between us. The security they have provided me is a gift I grow increasingly thankful for as time goes by. I can't think of anything more comforting than knowing I can always go home.

Carry on fellow travelers, we’ll talk soon.